A Letter to the Me on January 1st, 2017

Hey you there, Staci!

You are about to enter 2017 without a lot of new expectations. Sure, you know the business is about to expand; with that comes a bit of trepidation and second-guessing. Are the two of you making sound financial decisions? Is this time to follow your "gut decision" and go for it all in this dream of a one-stop shop for B&B and venue connection?

And deep down - because you've both prayed about it and discussed the pros and the cons endlessly, time and time again out on the back deck, in the mornings over coffee, in the late night hours when you both couldn't sleep...you know the decision is the right one. You feel good about it. Excited, even.  So, this decision at least is made.

2017 will conceive a multi-purpose event venue - and will come to be named "The Hitchin' Post" - along with two storage containers that will be turned into tiny cabins and placed in the woods on the B&B property. By the first of the following year the B&B will have more than doubled in size. With lots of prayer - and Lord knows lots of hard work - hopefully the B&B business will have more than doubled as well.

The three kids are doing great. The end of the year with all of them and their families and the grands all together at the Ranch is always your very favorite time of year. It usually lasts only 36-48 hours before other commitments or duties call them in different directions, but that is enough. Having them under one roof for those few meals, gathered around the same table, hearing their laughter, appreciating their differences, admiring their various talents and how many life values they share, and yet how their lives are vastly different from one another.

I've made a lot of mistakes in my lifetime. I've make a lot of mistakes as a mother. But one thing I am intensely proud of is that I have no expectations of my children except that they follow their heart. I can say that with ease because they were raised to put God first. That does not mean that what I feel should be first for them is what IS first. That would be selfish. That would mean I think they should be a clone of me. God knows there doesn't need to be another of me. It means they were raised to value a relationship with God that is uniquely personal to them. It is between them and their Creator. I gave them back to Him at their dedication service. I am not a mom to try to take them back and make them into what I think they should be. I have more trust and faith in them than that.

To see them with their growing families, raising children, traveling, seeing the world, giving back in various ways, living a Christian life and modeling that for others in ways I was never taught kind of rocks me back on my heels and I just give thanks that these incredible humans are our grown children. And these amazing little people they are raising so magnificently - they are our grands. And GRAND, they ARE!

Moving on to your work life - your day job, if you will. It is still your calling, and you are still in love with it. You can't see yourself anywhere else until the day you choose to leave to run the B&B full time. Little do you know that in just a few short months, something far beyond your control and your understanding will uproot you and you WILL make a change. It will not only shock those around you, but it will shock you as well.

When that time comes, others will want to know why. You'll wonder why as well. Why give up an 8 minute door-to-door commute for a 30 minute one to another district? Why leave a team you love for one that you don't even know? How in the world can you leave your students, kids who - for many of them - might as well be your own? How can you "abandon" them? Will they feel that way? How can you prevent that?

How can you explain that you accepted the interview after first turning it down because something deep inside of you - the part of you that you know better than to ignore - urged you to say yes; what did you have to lose just by going in to chat? How do you explain that when you walked across the threshold there was that feeling, the one that only comes along a handful of times in your life. Those God-moments, when the conversation is effortless, when no one is trying to impress, when the principal is not trying to woo you, and you are not trying to impress him. It will be a simple, honest conversation, but one that will change everything.

For months and months I had no good answer when folks would ask why I had changed districts. It wasn't the past admin. Not at all. It certainly wasn't my coworkers. In fact, I worried that I might be losing some people that I had come to care for very, very much. In time, what I would come to realize is that my Amy, my Neesa, my Donna, and my Kathy, and all the many more would continue to be a part of my life. I had not left them.

I had simply been moved.

For a while, I was shallow enough to think I had been moved because my teaching talents were needed in this new place. I fell instantly in love with my new environment, with my students, my admin, my team. As always, I had a blast preparing for the new school year, drawing up lesson plans, decorating my room, meeting everyone and putting names to faces.

And then - during the second nine weeks I hit a wall and I had a total epiphany.

I wasn't there for anyone else.

I was there because there were people there FOR ME. I would go through something deeply personal, deeply profound, something that rocked me like I had never been rocked before. It would have nothing to do with my marriage, with my teaching career, or with our kids or business.  But it put me in a place of vulnerability that I had never felt. Things from my past pelted me right and left. "Lost" moments that I had evidently blocked out suddenly became vivid memories.  I was used to being able to "cover my emotions," or hide my feelings, wearing a mask to cover any imperfections. This time I would not be able to do that.

I cracked and my new team drew me in. They quite literally encircled me, prayed for me, and allowed me to ugly cry in front of them. Betsy, Telly, and Haylie are my angels. They are three of the most encouraging, godly, FUNNY women I have ever known and I cannot imagine having the breakdown I did at work with anyone but them.

With their encouragement, and after hearing my story, I felt empowered to reach out to three more women. Women who should have been on my go-to list decades ago. This whole lesson has taught me that I am not invincible; I cannot do all things on my own. I don't have to appear perfect, In fact, there's a HUGE degree of relief in admitting, "Hey, I do not have my shizzle together. This happened to me and - quite frankly - it messed me up." Never having had a sister myself, I turned to the next best thing, my sisters-in-law - Kay, Malinda, and Robyn. Once again, that sisterhood of of rallying - almost like circling the wagons to protect the settlers...

By the way, it's now almost the end of the calendar year, and your husband is immensely grateful that you've finally turned to female confidantes. The business, by the way, has more than doubled during the course of the year. You're not quite going to make your end of the year deadline, but you're going to be very close. Already you have four weddings on the 2018 B&B calendar, and the cabins have about an 85% consistent booking rate. Sharing this passion for this hospitality business has brought you even closer as a couple.

You wouldn't have thought so a month ago, but you're leaving 2017 healthier than you entered it. Spiritually, emotionally, with your marriage, your family, your job, and your business...

Girl, you are going to go into this 50th year of your life dancing because you know what is important in this life...

Girls' Trip 2017: Pawhuska, OK Day T W O

We woke up on Friday morning, sipped coffee (okay, I think maybe I was the only one that did), and chatted through our adjoining rooms. Free of a specific timetable, we relished in our "girl time," dressed leisurely, ate breakfast in Bartlesville, and then set out again for...you guessed it! - Pawhuska.

An easy 25 minute drive, and a gorgeous one at that, and then we quickly realized that Fridays in Pawhuska are not like Thursdays. Parking spaces were scarce, The Merc was pretty much body to body, and the line to get into the restaurant (our goal for that evening) was three times as long as it had been the day before.

Still, it seemed as though every single person in The Merc were as happy to be there as we were. Not only that, but each salesperson (wearing the signature black button-down with PW's turquoise beads) were happy too. Each was helpful, friendly, and eager to make sure that everyone had a pleasant shopping (or browsing) experience.

After a few more purchases (and another Spicy Cowgirl!) we decided it was time to get in line for dinner. Sarah and Elizabeth took one for the team and braved the looooong line in order to snag a table for us while Mom and I relaxed upstairs in the coffee shop.

(First 2 minutes waiting in line...)

(The picture they texted near the end of the 40 minute wait...)

The staff of The Merc had even considered these poor, hot souls who were braving the elements of a summer in Oklahoma, and had bins of sunscreen available to those who were waiting in line outside, as well as employees who frequently stepped out of the building to hand umbrellas to shield their customers from the intensity of the heat. Details, people. These folks thought of them ALL.

The. Wait. Was. Worth. It. Behold...

Every bite was as delicious as the last and we all left with a bag of leftovers (which we enjoyed again as a late night hotel room snack) and a feeling of supreme satisfaction that this trip had lived up to - and even exceeded - our expectations.

Even though we had to load up, eat one last lunch together, and then say our good-byes, it was a Girls' Trip for the books, for sure! I'd like to say we'll do it again next year, but it will be so very difficult to top the joys and laughs and pure delight from this one!

Girls' Trip 2017: Pawhuska, OK! Day ONE

For Mom's birthday - 73! - this year, my daughters-in-law and I decided to take her on a little road trip. Not just any 'ol roadtrip, mind you, one to visit The Mercantile in Pawhuska, Oklahoma, home to the Pioneer Woman herself!

We made our reservations in nearby Bartlesville a good three months ahead of time. Yes, The Merc has generated THAT MUCH visitor traffic; if you want to plan a stay, make sure to allow a good few weeks in advance unless you're willing to stay in Tulsa and drive in from there.

Mom and I rolled out of Northeast Texas about 7:30 am, and met up with Sarah and Elizabeth - leaving from Dallas - in Bartlesville. We ate a quick lunch in a nearby cafe (don't remember the name - the food was great; we were just in a hurry to get to Pawhuska!) and then headed for The Merc.

Y'all.

The Merc DOES NOT DISAPPOINT.

 

Since we arrived on a Thursday afternoon, the shop itself was not overly populated, even though the deli/restaurant was still commanding a long line outside. In complete awe, we wandered around for several hours, trying on hats, picking up all sizes of scoops, admiring hand towels and linens, and fawning over the endless tables and shelves that fairly oozed all things Pioneer Woman. We were in heaven!

My initial thought was to browse for items of interest on Thursday and then make purchases on our return trip on Friday. Um...nope. I finished perusing with several amazing little finds in my bag, and then I joined the others upstairs in the coffee shop/bakery.

Y'ALL.

Again, words fail me. You MUST visit in order to understand just how wonderfully this Pawhuska project has come together! From 3-4 carefully arranged seating areas, to the unique table tops, to the hospitable and helpful baristas...the upstairs experience was equally thrilling as the downstairs one had been!

I slowly sipped on a Spicy Cowgirl (recipe in future post!) while I glanced around, drinking in all PW's family photos strategically placed around the large, open space of exposed, historical brick. While it allowed you to get the feel of Ree and Ladd and their amazing family, friends, and ranch, even more - it welcomed you in like a giant hug. You were inclined to sink into a seat and sit awhile.

Somehow...I imagine that is just what PW had in mind...

When C H A N G E is good...but not always fun.

Change is never easy for me. It never has been. That dreaded feeling that collects in the pit of your tummy, rolling and tumbling in such a way that you're not sure if you are excited or just plain terrified.

One thing I've learned, though, is to trust the little nudge in the depths of your soul; when it urges change, I know I'd be wise to listen and consider my next steps very carefully.

In a way, this is quite funny that I still go through this myriad of emotions, considering that the B&B is continually going through changes, especially with this huge expansion we're in the big middle of right now. I think it must be because Mike and I are so focused on the end goal that the changes we endure during the process feel more like "the next step" rather than true changes.

When I signed my contract with my last district, I thought it would be where I would spend the remainder of my teaching career. There were no doubts in my mind; instead, there was such a sweet serenity in knowing I'd be teaching in the very community where I live, that the commute was a mere 9 minutes - door to door, and that I had found my forever school home.

I seriously never thought that would change.

I am so in love with where we live - the actual land, but also the neighbors, the community, the familiarity that has become our home over the past six years. My students here are at the heart of what I have done for 10 months out of the year, for these years. The thing is, they will always be mine. If a student has sat in my class, it is my hope and prayer that they know that NOTHING will change my feelings for them. Not their graduation. Not them moving on to the next grade. Not them moving away.

Not me leaving this district for another.

I have moved to a new district. Coming to this decision had nothing to do with my current students, nothing to do with the community, and nothing to do with the fierce love I have for all I have experienced here. Instead, it has everything to do with that little nudge in my soul that prompted me to move to a new challenge, a new opportunity.

To many my decision probably makes no sense. I now have a bit of a commute. I know only a handful of people at the new district. I'm leaving my comfort zone for a place where I am sure it will take me a while to find my footing, my place. I'm also leaving students who mean the world to me. Students that I would cross the country for if they needed me to. I'm letting a huge piece of my heart stay with them, even as I move on to my next chapter in my teaching journey.

The decision making process itself was too personal to even try to put into words here, if I wanted to. The truth is, when I have these whispers in my soul - God whispers, I like to call them - it is personal and not something I'm inclined to share publicly. If you know me at all, you will know that this decision was made after lots of prayer, lots of thinking, and many, many talks with Mike.

It's been several weeks now, and the rumbling and tumbling in my tummy is still there, but now it is pure excitement. I look forward to the new students who will be in my life, the opportunities I will have to make an impact on them and their families, and especially the open door which was swung wide for me after my time in prayer. My heart is ready to encompass all the new even as it holds so close and so dear all of the old.

To all of my former students, you have my heart for always! I will still be front row and center for all of your accomplishments in life, I will still laugh at all of the fun we had, and still want to hug you tight when I know you need it most. Nothing will change that.

To all of my soon-to-be students, very soon this heart of mine will encompass you as well. Even though I don't know you yet, my heart is with you - planning, preparing - for that moment when we meet and begin our time together.

Once again, I am a transplanted gal. Trusting the process. Cherishing the past. Embracing the NOW. Anticipating the future.

G E O R G E

This past week has been an absolute blast around the ranch. George came for his annual summer visit and he was pretty much his Pops' shadow by day and tucked close to my body by night. We wouldn't have it any other way!

                    

This youngest Grandbuddy of ours will be turning 2 in a few weeks, so we presented him with his own four-wheeler, so he could be "just like Pops!" We thought it would take a while for him to get the hang of it, but we couldn't have been more wrong! He hopped right on, pressed the gas and took off! He thought he was hot stuff riding the place with Pops! (Pretty sure Pops enjoyed it just as much!)

He also was on the chore train from his first day. All it took for him to run for his boots and cowboy hat was to see Pops head to the mud room to pull on his work boots. He fed chickens, goats, gathered eggs, and fed Sassy!

Being George's Pops and Nana is pure joy! We count ourselves as so blessed to experience grandparenting a teen, a tween, and a toddler at the same time! We're getting to participate in several stages of growing up and we cherish every minute!

Now...waiting on Carter and Kendall's visit later next month! Can't wait!!!

Home is where the heart is.

There's that saying, "Home is where the heart is." On this lazy, rainy Sunday afternoon, it's easy to absorb the meaning of this. Our youngest grandson is napping in my bed, alongside Thoreau - our eldest pooch, and my sweet husband and our youngest pup, Bronte, are napping in the living room. I find myself in the middle of them all, tucked away in our office, lit only by a lamp as I drink in, both, the sweetness of the day as well as the quietness that I've always used to refuel my soul.

Sundays are perfect for that: refueling. Whether it's our soul, our kitchens for the week ahead, or our to do lists to help keep us organized before we hit the ground running on Monday mornings. Today, though, this thought is uppermost in my heart: if home is where the heart is, I hope my God feels pleased to call my heart his home on every day. It needs to be inviting, serving, generous, kind, warm, and comforting, and full of peace, joy, and love.

It doesn't mean that everything is always in perfect order, just a place He recognizes and knows that it is pure and following Him. It might be messy and all over the place but cultivate freedom, sometimes leaky but full of joy, at times distressed but always marked by stories.

Imperfect but inviting.

I often find myself eagerly {at times not so eagerly} scrambling to clean and prepare our own home for guests. As I age, I want this cleanliness MORE, but am willing to put in the TIME less, and yet I am WILLING, all because it signals that very soon we'll be in the midst of friends or family, there will be laughter, there will be warmth, there will be stories, good food, the closeness that comes from our treasured relationships.

When put in that light, there is no task too big or too troublesome to undertake if it makes that evening, that occasion, even more special.

How much more should I maintain my heart, ensuring that it always has the welcome mat out for the One who gave me life, who continues to rain blessing after blessing upon my life? While I strive here in my home to have a good-smelling candle burning and lots of things around that are pleasing to the eye and add creature comfort, I know these are not the same things He looks for in me.

He wants me to be hospitable, but is probably much more concerned with my hospitality to Him.

It's in moments like these, the quiet ones, when I sit and sift through the things cluttering my heart. Cleaning house isn't always fun, nor do we always want to take the time to pursue it, but...that feeling you get when it's all done - when you can sit back in those last few moments before your guests arrive and know...JUST KNOW...that what is to come is going to be memorable and possibly even life-changing.

Here's to heart-cleaning...

Until next time...

XXOO
Staci

Vegas, Baby!

We did something highly unusual - but highly needed - the very day I finished up this school year. We left the ranch for a mini vacay! We don't do this often, for sure not as often as we should, so we were super excited for a few days away from our normal B&B operations and chores.

I finished up at school at 10:30 am and we drove to Dallas that very afternoon, and caught a midnight flight to Vegas. This makes it sound almost spontaneous, but if you know either of us, you know that spontaneous for us means a month of prepping. LOL. This trip was actually a combination birthday/anniversary gift to me from Mike. The cherry on this very fun sundae were tickets to Celine Dion, my all time favorite vocalist.

This was the view from our bed; I must say it was every bit as dreamy as this photo suggests. I could have stayed tucked in these amazing white sheets, dozing every now and then, only waking to catch a view of the magnificent columns of Caesar's Palace and Celine's gorgeous face on the marquis.

But if we had done that, then we would have missed all of this:

 

And the FOOD, y'all, oh, the food! So beautiful, so delicious, so decadent...just what two tired business owners needed to refuel, relax, and enjoy our time together.

Seeing Celine was the perfect ending to a perfect day. Celine. Does. Not. Disappoint. It was pretty cool that our hashtag (along with our faces) made it onto the jumbotron! Notice how relaxed we look - that's what a mini vacay will do for you!

 

            

This was the perfect little getaway for the two of us. We came home rejuvenated, inspired, rested, and SO READY to see our pupper dogs! It was a toss up on who was the happiest - Thoreau & Bronte or us!

XXOO,
Staci