Everything you need to know about life, you can learn from chickens.

• Communication is the key to a healthy relationship

Chickens really are the great communicators. As someone who is  married, in a career, and very involved with family and friends, I know that communication is key to any good relationship. Chickens know this, too, and they have a very sophisticated  - yet simple - communication system. Who knew they had so many different "calls?" They encourage one another, scold one another, and warn one another - it all depends on the situation they are facing. Looks like calling someone a “chicken” actually means they are pretty brave!

•  Relax and enjoy the sunshine

Just like many of us, chickens love to soak up the sunshine. Our hens will dig little holes in the dirt and flick dirt up onto themselves in a dust bath. Dust baths and sunbathing actually have many health benefits for chickens: the dust baths prevent parasites and the sunbathing is thought to stimulate hens’ metabolisms, along with providing other health benefits. After observing this in my chickens, I feel much less guilt when I indulge in back deck time! It's healthy, and those few moments - however brief - can go a long way in rejuvenating a weary soul.

• Surround yourself with only good people

In spite of what a lot of people think, chickens do like people. Certain people. People who treat them with kindness. People who talk to them. People who bring them food. Sound familiar? They will flock with great excitement to the gate of their yard when they see us. They know the routine. We are dependable. We have a routine. We show up. It's a constant reminder to me to show up for the folks in my life, whether they be my love, my family, my students, or friends. Show up. Be present. Be dependable.

• Be loud and proud about your achievements

Kids love to announce their accomplishments. I typed in 'brag' at first but brag tends to have a negative connotation these days and what kids do is anything but negative. They are proud of the award they won, they are excited about the good grade they worked so hard for and didn't expect, they are delighted when they learn a new skill. And they should be.

But somewhere along the line on the way to being mature, responsible adults we begin to downplay our accomplishments instead of sing them. It's like we've been taught that it's not proper or in good manners to talk about ourselves. 

Have you ever been around a hen during and after she's laid an egg? Let me tell you, it's a par-tay! That doesn't mean that the other hens stop whatever it is they are doing and join her celebration. Instead she spends a few minutes rejoicing and then she goes back to her life and to her co-existence with the others in her flock. Lesson learned. It's okay to take a moment and bask in those hard-earned accomplishments. But don't set up camp there. Take it in and then move on to the next thing. 

• Come home to roost.

Chickens like adventure. They like to peck, wander, and explore. They like to leave their yard and mosey into the neighboring wooded area, foraging as they go. Very rarely do they wander alone; the are really good at the buddy system. But no matter where they are, they come home for the important things. They go to their nesting box to lay and they come home to their coop at night. 

It's a family thing and a safety thing, two of which we can learn from. Family is where it is, and - at the heart of family - is your safe place. It's where people love you even when they don't like you in the moment, it's the spot where you're built up after being torn down during your day, and it's the sanctuary of your heart. It's where you lay down your worries, cares, disappointments, as well as display your triumphs, your dreams, and your wins. 

"She closes her eyes, through her hero's demise. Holds on to her hope beyond the sky. 

She take a breath, weight comes off her chest. She finds a way to weather through the storm.

She cries out, "Home! I need me some home. Oh, I need me some home.""

A Letter to the Me on January 1st, 2017

Hey you there, Staci!

You are about to enter 2017 without a lot of new expectations. Sure, you know the business is about to expand; with that comes a bit of trepidation and second-guessing. Are the two of you making sound financial decisions? Is this time to follow your "gut decision" and go for it all in this dream of a one-stop shop for B&B and venue connection?

And deep down - because you've both prayed about it and discussed the pros and the cons endlessly, time and time again out on the back deck, in the mornings over coffee, in the late night hours when you both couldn't sleep...you know the decision is the right one. You feel good about it. Excited, even.  So, this decision at least is made.

2017 will conceive a multi-purpose event venue - and will come to be named "The Hitchin' Post" - along with two storage containers that will be turned into tiny cabins and placed in the woods on the B&B property. By the first of the following year the B&B will have more than doubled in size. With lots of prayer - and Lord knows lots of hard work - hopefully the B&B business will have more than doubled as well.

The three kids are doing great. The end of the year with all of them and their families and the grands all together at the Ranch is always your very favorite time of year. It usually lasts only 36-48 hours before other commitments or duties call them in different directions, but that is enough. Having them under one roof for those few meals, gathered around the same table, hearing their laughter, appreciating their differences, admiring their various talents and how many life values they share, and yet how their lives are vastly different from one another.

I've made a lot of mistakes in my lifetime. I've make a lot of mistakes as a mother. But one thing I am intensely proud of is that I have no expectations of my children except that they follow their heart. I can say that with ease because they were raised to put God first. That does not mean that what I feel should be first for them is what IS first. That would be selfish. That would mean I think they should be a clone of me. God knows there doesn't need to be another of me. It means they were raised to value a relationship with God that is uniquely personal to them. It is between them and their Creator. I gave them back to Him at their dedication service. I am not a mom to try to take them back and make them into what I think they should be. I have more trust and faith in them than that.

To see them with their growing families, raising children, traveling, seeing the world, giving back in various ways, living a Christian life and modeling that for others in ways I was never taught kind of rocks me back on my heels and I just give thanks that these incredible humans are our grown children. And these amazing little people they are raising so magnificently - they are our grands. And GRAND, they ARE!

Moving on to your work life - your day job, if you will. It is still your calling, and you are still in love with it. You can't see yourself anywhere else until the day you choose to leave to run the B&B full time. Little do you know that in just a few short months, something far beyond your control and your understanding will uproot you and you WILL make a change. It will not only shock those around you, but it will shock you as well.

When that time comes, others will want to know why. You'll wonder why as well. Why give up an 8 minute door-to-door commute for a 30 minute one to another district? Why leave a team you love for one that you don't even know? How in the world can you leave your students, kids who - for many of them - might as well be your own? How can you "abandon" them? Will they feel that way? How can you prevent that?

How can you explain that you accepted the interview after first turning it down because something deep inside of you - the part of you that you know better than to ignore - urged you to say yes; what did you have to lose just by going in to chat? How do you explain that when you walked across the threshold there was that feeling, the one that only comes along a handful of times in your life. Those God-moments, when the conversation is effortless, when no one is trying to impress, when the principal is not trying to woo you, and you are not trying to impress him. It will be a simple, honest conversation, but one that will change everything.

For months and months I had no good answer when folks would ask why I had changed districts. It wasn't the past admin. Not at all. It certainly wasn't my coworkers. In fact, I worried that I might be losing some people that I had come to care for very, very much. In time, what I would come to realize is that my Amy, my Neesa, my Donna, and my Kathy, and all the many more would continue to be a part of my life. I had not left them.

I had simply been moved.

For a while, I was shallow enough to think I had been moved because my teaching talents were needed in this new place. I fell instantly in love with my new environment, with my students, my admin, my team. As always, I had a blast preparing for the new school year, drawing up lesson plans, decorating my room, meeting everyone and putting names to faces.

And then - during the second nine weeks I hit a wall and I had a total epiphany.

I wasn't there for anyone else.

I was there because there were people there FOR ME. I would go through something deeply personal, deeply profound, something that rocked me like I had never been rocked before. It would have nothing to do with my marriage, with my teaching career, or with our kids or business.  But it put me in a place of vulnerability that I had never felt. Things from my past pelted me right and left. "Lost" moments that I had evidently blocked out suddenly became vivid memories.  I was used to being able to "cover my emotions," or hide my feelings, wearing a mask to cover any imperfections. This time I would not be able to do that.

I cracked and my new team drew me in. They quite literally encircled me, prayed for me, and allowed me to ugly cry in front of them. Betsy, Telly, and Haylie are my angels. They are three of the most encouraging, godly, FUNNY women I have ever known and I cannot imagine having the breakdown I did at work with anyone but them.

With their encouragement, and after hearing my story, I felt empowered to reach out to three more women. Women who should have been on my go-to list decades ago. This whole lesson has taught me that I am not invincible; I cannot do all things on my own. I don't have to appear perfect, In fact, there's a HUGE degree of relief in admitting, "Hey, I do not have my shizzle together. This happened to me and - quite frankly - it messed me up." Never having had a sister myself, I turned to the next best thing, my sisters-in-law - Kay, Malinda, and Robyn. Once again, that sisterhood of of rallying - almost like circling the wagons to protect the settlers...

By the way, it's now almost the end of the calendar year, and your husband is immensely grateful that you've finally turned to female confidantes. The business, by the way, has more than doubled during the course of the year. You're not quite going to make your end of the year deadline, but you're going to be very close. Already you have four weddings on the 2018 B&B calendar, and the cabins have about an 85% consistent booking rate. Sharing this passion for this hospitality business has brought you even closer as a couple.

You wouldn't have thought so a month ago, but you're leaving 2017 healthier than you entered it. Spiritually, emotionally, with your marriage, your family, your job, and your business...

Girl, you are going to go into this 50th year of your life dancing because you know what is important in this life...

PW - Welcome to my frontier!

Ree Drummond may very well be my favorite #girlboss ever! I have to say, finally visiting Pawhuska after a decade of reading her blog and of watching her cooking show on Food Network these past several years, I was dubious as to whether or not all the hype would live up to my enormous expectations.

Well, um...it did.

Her show's catch phrase is "Welcome to my frontier!"

We definitely felt welcome!

Now, more than ever, I am in awe of what this seemingly simple Oklahoma-living, kid-raising, Marlboro Man-loving cook, wife, mom, and business owner has accomplished with such grace, poise, and low-key fanfare.  You walk in The Mercantile (otherwise known as The Merc) and instantly feel as though you've stepped into the home of a very close friend. From the gift wrap counter, to the colorfully displayed shelves of dishes, novelties, and linens, to the friendly sales clerks dressed in sharp, black button-down shirts with strands of PW's signature turquoise beads - it all bathes you in a warm, fuzzy feeling of belonging, of truly being a part of her frontier.

Mom and I both picked up this first issue of her new magazine. Y'all. You NEED to stop by your local Walmart (this is so not a Walmart plug as much as it is pure endorsement on the part of PW!) and pick up your own copy. It has been a very long time since I have read a magazine from cover to cover, but that is exactly what I did with this one! The articles are relevant, the editorials are heart-felt, and the pictures are just pure Americana. And in today's climate - who doesn't need a bit of THIS in their life?

Just this weekend my niece referred to me as a "fan girl," and I guess - even though I am a full grown, soon-to-be 50 year old, I am indeed a fan girl. There is something to be respected about a person with a dream that is totally centered around her family, her principles, and her desire to leave a positive imprint on the world around her that completely inspires me.

Maybe - from one transplanted gal to another - there is something about her that further encourages me to press further on my passion here at the B&B. To take heart that great things take great time to create, to nourish, and then to flourish.

The belief that these things are worth the time, the effort, the worry, and the sweat.

To know that in my own small, small way I love to say to others, "Welcome to MY frontier!"

When C H A N G E is good...but not always fun.

Change is never easy for me. It never has been. That dreaded feeling that collects in the pit of your tummy, rolling and tumbling in such a way that you're not sure if you are excited or just plain terrified.

One thing I've learned, though, is to trust the little nudge in the depths of your soul; when it urges change, I know I'd be wise to listen and consider my next steps very carefully.

In a way, this is quite funny that I still go through this myriad of emotions, considering that the B&B is continually going through changes, especially with this huge expansion we're in the big middle of right now. I think it must be because Mike and I are so focused on the end goal that the changes we endure during the process feel more like "the next step" rather than true changes.

When I signed my contract with my last district, I thought it would be where I would spend the remainder of my teaching career. There were no doubts in my mind; instead, there was such a sweet serenity in knowing I'd be teaching in the very community where I live, that the commute was a mere 9 minutes - door to door, and that I had found my forever school home.

I seriously never thought that would change.

I am so in love with where we live - the actual land, but also the neighbors, the community, the familiarity that has become our home over the past six years. My students here are at the heart of what I have done for 10 months out of the year, for these years. The thing is, they will always be mine. If a student has sat in my class, it is my hope and prayer that they know that NOTHING will change my feelings for them. Not their graduation. Not them moving on to the next grade. Not them moving away.

Not me leaving this district for another.

I have moved to a new district. Coming to this decision had nothing to do with my current students, nothing to do with the community, and nothing to do with the fierce love I have for all I have experienced here. Instead, it has everything to do with that little nudge in my soul that prompted me to move to a new challenge, a new opportunity.

To many my decision probably makes no sense. I now have a bit of a commute. I know only a handful of people at the new district. I'm leaving my comfort zone for a place where I am sure it will take me a while to find my footing, my place. I'm also leaving students who mean the world to me. Students that I would cross the country for if they needed me to. I'm letting a huge piece of my heart stay with them, even as I move on to my next chapter in my teaching journey.

The decision making process itself was too personal to even try to put into words here, if I wanted to. The truth is, when I have these whispers in my soul - God whispers, I like to call them - it is personal and not something I'm inclined to share publicly. If you know me at all, you will know that this decision was made after lots of prayer, lots of thinking, and many, many talks with Mike.

It's been several weeks now, and the rumbling and tumbling in my tummy is still there, but now it is pure excitement. I look forward to the new students who will be in my life, the opportunities I will have to make an impact on them and their families, and especially the open door which was swung wide for me after my time in prayer. My heart is ready to encompass all the new even as it holds so close and so dear all of the old.

To all of my former students, you have my heart for always! I will still be front row and center for all of your accomplishments in life, I will still laugh at all of the fun we had, and still want to hug you tight when I know you need it most. Nothing will change that.

To all of my soon-to-be students, very soon this heart of mine will encompass you as well. Even though I don't know you yet, my heart is with you - planning, preparing - for that moment when we meet and begin our time together.

Once again, I am a transplanted gal. Trusting the process. Cherishing the past. Embracing the NOW. Anticipating the future.

Transplanted...again.

Just when this Transplanted Gal feels like Life has become somewhat predictable (I use that term lightly because of our crazy, busy lives), I revel in the way that God moves and redirects. Usually when I least expect it. 

New things ahead. There is an END which will be difficult to say good-bye to, but an equally exciting NEW BEGINNING that has me bursting with excitement! 

I can't wait to say HELLO.

XXOO,

Staci

In the morning, when I rise...

“This place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you.” 

Is this not the best thing ever?

That wherever I go I have the assurance that God has gone before me, paving the way for my time there. Way too often I get caught up in the busyness that is life - work, marriage, kids, mortgages, my students, the B&B...The reality is that - if I chose to - I could stay busy every single second and miss the bliss that comes from being in this very moment.

I'm a planner at heart. By nature, I just can't NOT plan. Menus, to-do lists, lessons, steps or phases to take our business to the next level. While planning is important in life, the very act of planning everything so precisely is that sometimes my thoughts are focused on the future, on things and places and people that have not yet been manifested in my life.

It's when I realize I am in "over-planning" mode, that I do my best to stop, breathe, and take in this spot where I am right now. It may be a spot of joy, maybe a little bit of a hard place, or maybe even just a place of silence where there is not a lot of activity going on. In each of these times, I need to embrace the now, the blessings and the lessons that are in this space. They are for me, from my Father.

I have this sign hanging in our master bath and try to focus on it each morning as I brush my teeth. Some days I forget. But almost always when I breathe in these words, my mind becomes clear, my focus is sure, and I know that I will be fine in this new day.

Because He has already gone before me.

Home is where the heart is.

There's that saying, "Home is where the heart is." On this lazy, rainy Sunday afternoon, it's easy to absorb the meaning of this. Our youngest grandson is napping in my bed, alongside Thoreau - our eldest pooch, and my sweet husband and our youngest pup, Bronte, are napping in the living room. I find myself in the middle of them all, tucked away in our office, lit only by a lamp as I drink in, both, the sweetness of the day as well as the quietness that I've always used to refuel my soul.

Sundays are perfect for that: refueling. Whether it's our soul, our kitchens for the week ahead, or our to do lists to help keep us organized before we hit the ground running on Monday mornings. Today, though, this thought is uppermost in my heart: if home is where the heart is, I hope my God feels pleased to call my heart his home on every day. It needs to be inviting, serving, generous, kind, warm, and comforting, and full of peace, joy, and love.

It doesn't mean that everything is always in perfect order, just a place He recognizes and knows that it is pure and following Him. It might be messy and all over the place but cultivate freedom, sometimes leaky but full of joy, at times distressed but always marked by stories.

Imperfect but inviting.

I often find myself eagerly {at times not so eagerly} scrambling to clean and prepare our own home for guests. As I age, I want this cleanliness MORE, but am willing to put in the TIME less, and yet I am WILLING, all because it signals that very soon we'll be in the midst of friends or family, there will be laughter, there will be warmth, there will be stories, good food, the closeness that comes from our treasured relationships.

When put in that light, there is no task too big or too troublesome to undertake if it makes that evening, that occasion, even more special.

How much more should I maintain my heart, ensuring that it always has the welcome mat out for the One who gave me life, who continues to rain blessing after blessing upon my life? While I strive here in my home to have a good-smelling candle burning and lots of things around that are pleasing to the eye and add creature comfort, I know these are not the same things He looks for in me.

He wants me to be hospitable, but is probably much more concerned with my hospitality to Him.

It's in moments like these, the quiet ones, when I sit and sift through the things cluttering my heart. Cleaning house isn't always fun, nor do we always want to take the time to pursue it, but...that feeling you get when it's all done - when you can sit back in those last few moments before your guests arrive and know...JUST KNOW...that what is to come is going to be memorable and possibly even life-changing.

Here's to heart-cleaning...

Until next time...

XXOO
Staci